kaktus_okamenel (kaktus_okamenel) wrote,

http://www.shipoffools.com/kitschmas/ Welcome to the Ship of Fools annual roundup of truly covetable gifts for Kitschmas. Twelve righteous and deserving products, plus a special item for the 13th day, sourced by members of our bulletin boards. Read, click and be blessed. Also read about kitsch and true religion in our Christ vs. kitsch feature. Debussy wrote a work in his honour. George Orwell referred to him in 1984. REM included him in their Losing My Religion video. He even gets namechecked in not one but two episodes of The Simpsons. Few martyrs inspire like St Sebastian – but today we can reveal the ultimate accolade for this 3rd century saint who was clubbed to death under the Roman emperor Diocletian. Tied to a tree and riddled by arrows, he had survived an earlier attempt on his life, nursed back to health by St Irene of Rome. Now, at last, this miraculous event is sensitively recreated by the St Sebastian pincushion. Made by the Unemployed Philosophers' Guild, and costing just $12.95 (£6.50), you'll be drawn to this furry man of faith with the deliciously doleful expression. But a word of advice... be careful as you cuddle. Do you sometimes find church dull and pointless? Do you feel like you're missing out on something? What you need is to be filled with the spirit. And if it doesn't come on you from above you could always try swigging it. The Hip Flask Bible does not claim to be particularly inspired, or profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, or instruction in righteousness. But it does open unto you to reveal a 4oz stainless steel hip flask. Drink deep from its pages, all ye who thirst, and verily it will be easier to sit through the sermon. Thanks to mgeorge for discovering the Hip Flask Bible It does seem so unfair when the latest sighting of Christ in a crust of bread, or the BVM in a burger, falls to that most miserable of miscreants – an unbeliever. Gasp they may at such gracious revelation, but it irks when you've tarried many a righteous year, longing for your own precious epiphany in pasta. OK, it's cheating but, for saints tired of waiting for the Spirit to move, Holy Toast gives you a slice of the action. Or as the Revised Screwed Up Version puts it: "On the night he was betrayed he took bread, popped it in the toaster and gave it to the disciples, saying, "Take. Eat. This is my mother..." Get your Holy Toast stamper. Click here! Only £5.95 for two. For those with catholic tastes in the bedroom, here come thongs of praise. These pious undervestments combine devotion to the Mother of God with the prevention of visible panty lines, and bring some welcome holiness to any underwear-related activity. Do I hear an "Amen"? Brothers, pop a righteous g-string in the stocking of the lady in your life this Christmas, and she will be blessed among women. Sisters, try these on for him, and put the guilt back in your sex life where it belongs. Madonna and child knickers are $12.99 for a pair. Click here to order!

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